Dolores O'Riordan - Are You Listening? [Review]

Dolores O'Riordan, frontwoman of The Cranberries, released her first of two solo albums, Are You Listening?, in 2007, only a few years after the band decided to go on an indefinite hiatus (which ended in 2009 when the band decided to reunite and tour, ultimately releasing two more albums, Roses in 2012 and Something Else in 2017). Are You Listening? was actually my first serious contact with O'Riordan's music. (You can read a more detailed story regarding when and how I became a fan here.) Because of my already existent love for dark and dramatic rock (such as that of Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, Within Temptation, HIM, etc.), I pretty much instantly fell in love with this album, most of which definitely took a darker and heavier approach to music than most of The Cranberries' music did, and it now stands as one of my favorite albums of all time, as I consider it nearly flawless from start to finish. It lyrically deals with family life, motherhood, romantic feelings, and loss and, in fact, the album's opening track and lead single, "Ordinary Day," was written about her daughter. (She has two daughters, but considering the fact that the younger daughter, Dakota, was born in 2005 and therefore only two years old when the album came out in 2007, it's probably more so about her, although another song, "Sisterly Love," refers to both of them.) Not too far removed from most of The Cranberries' material, "Ordinary Day" is a light and acoustic soft rock song in which O'Riordan longingly hopes for her daughter to always be the best that she can be and to live the best life that she can while also promising that she will be there to lend a helping hand: "Beautiful girl," she asks rhetorically, "won't you be my inspiration?" It's a beautiful song and was one of the first of O'Riordan's solo songs that I heard. (It was either this or the second single, "When We Were Young"; I honestly can't remember which.)

"When We Were Young" is both Are You Listening?'s second track and its second single (as well as its final single, as the album unfortunately only spawned two singles). Heavier than the opening track, the song is a high-energy rock song with amped-up guitar and O'Riordan's signature yodeling-esque chanting. I remember watching countless interviews that were conducted with O'Riordan during this album's era, and she had said that touring and having to be away from her family was difficult. (Another song on the album, "Apple of My Eye," also addresses this.) I believe "When We Were Young" to be at least partially addressing her longing for her family when she had to be away from them. The catchy chorus pleads, "I wanna get out. I wanna go home. Is anything better than you on the phone?" It's also about nostalgia, wanting to go back to a time when things seemed simpler. The album's third track is titled "In the Garden" and is most definitely one of the highlights on the album. When I first listened to Are You Listening? in its entirety, this was one of the first songs with which I fell in love, especially since it reminded me a lot of Evanescence with its haunting piano melody, dark and dramatic sound, and strings (which are even more pronounced in the demo version). Although I have nothing to prove it, I think that this song might have been written about O'Riordan's sister; the song definitely seems to be about negative feelings toward a family member, and another song from the album, "Sisterly Love," is about negative feelings toward her sister. We will unfortunately probably never know for sure, however, since as she sings in the song, "I'll keep my secret with me until I die," and she has very sadly done just that recently. (Other fans have posited the theory that the song is about cyclical child abuse, which I think is also definitely valid, especially since a song by The Cranberries titled "Fee Fi Fo" deals with that, as well.) I just love the dark and dramatic sound as well as the bitter lyrics of "In the Garden."

"Human Spirit" is a great song because it sounds very Celtic, which makes sense given that O'Riordan is Irish and given that The Cranberries definitely dabbled in Celtic rock more than once. The introduction, which is repeated a couple more times throughout the song, is played on what I read is a tin whistle. (As you can see here, she actually played the part herself when she performed the song live, which is very impressive. It leads me to believe that although I don't know for sure, she also probably played it in the studio for the album version.) The way that I personally interpret the song's lyrics is that the speaker is encouraging the targeted listener not to give in to the darker aspects of human nature and to not allow life's hardships to corrupt them: "Don't let life consume you," she warns. "It could eat you upside." She also goes on to ask the listener if they have seen loneliness and emptiness inside the human spirit. It's a great song and is definitely memorable, especially because of its beautiful tin whistle part. The fifth song is not necessarily an absolute favorite of mine, but it is catchy, and O'Riordan seemed to like it enough to record it not only once but twice. (It was recorded a second time during the sessions for her second solo album, No Baggage.) It is a heavy rock song, but it is a lot more playful and upbeat than most of the other heavy rock songs on the album like "In the Garden," "Stay with Me," and "Black Widow." The song is a very angry song targeted toward someone who has wronged the speaker somehow, featuring one of my favorite lyrics from the album: "A two-watt light-bulb is brighter than you." Talk about savage. Who knows, however, who the target was, if anyone? O'Riordan seemed to occasionally write from other people's perspectives, and the ability to do that is partially what made her so great.

"Stay with Me" is another one of my favorites on Are You Listening? (although so much of the album is so fantastic, so I feel like saying that weakens a little bit in potency after being said so many times). It is dark and heavy, and O'Riordan even said herself that the song was intended to sound dark with dark chords. It begins softly on acoustic guitar with high notes being played softly on piano, but it becomes much heavier by the song's chorus, with electric guitar taking over and O'Riordan's voice becoming much louder and more aggressive. O'Riordan described the song's chorus as being unpredictable, and I can definitely agree with that. Even though it is not unpredictable lyrically as it really just keeps repeating "stay with me," it is unpredictable melodically as its notes waver and quiver. It is very difficult not to feel your heart breaking as you listen to O'Riordan's tortured cries begging a loved one not to leave her. (The words "stay with me," interestingly enough, pop up in O'Riordan's songs pretty frequently, as they can be heard in songs such as "Promises" and "Ecstasy," and the word "stay" is repeated many times in "This Is the Day.") Although a listener can interpret the song and relate to it in their own way, O'Riordan actually wrote it about her father having had cancer and how she was afraid of losing him. "Apple of My Eye" (another song that was recorded a second time for No Baggage) is much lighter, both in sound and in lyrical content. It was written about her husband and children and how she missed them when she had to be away from them. It is a beautiful acoustic love song, featuring a pretty simple message: I am in love with you, and I miss you when I am away from you. As previously stated, it is featured on both her first solo album and her second solo album, so it was probably an important song to her.

"Black Widow" is definitely the darkest song on the album, as it is very eerie and dissonant. It has, for one reason or another, always reminded me of the Henry Selick movie Coraline, especially of the character the Other Mother (which is probably, at least in part, due to the fact that the character turns into a spidery creature near the end of the movie). O'Riordan once said that the song was written about her mother-in-law who was slowly dying of cancer. In that sense, the song is somewhat similar to "Stay with Me," not only because both songs are very dark but also because both songs are about a family member suffering from cancer. It is yet another song that I adore because of its dark and heavy sound. "October" is yet another highlight on the album, as it has a bit of an industrial sound to it. It's an upbeat alternative song with a vehemently powerful chorus, and I interpret its lyrics to be about having to let someone go and be on your own. "Accept Things," Are You Listening?'s tenth track is a bit of a dip on the album. As I said, the album is nearly flawless from start to finish. It is such a fantastic album that rarely dips, but if I had to pick a song that is my least favorite, it would probably be "Accept Things." It is much lighter in tone than most of the songs on the album (returning, perhaps, to the more acoustic rock sound of the opening track, "Ordinary Day") and is more in the same vein as that of Alanis Morissette or early Avril Lavigne. "Angel Fire" is also a softer song but brings in a bit more energy in its catchy and melodic chorus. While not strictly a Christmas song, O'Riordan first performed the song at the Monte Carlo Christmas Concert in 2006, which does makes sense because the song does feature some Christmasy lyrics: "Another lonely night in December... It is the time of year people remember."

The closing track on most versions of the album is "Ecstasy," a song that grew on me, starting off as one of my least favorite songs from the album and eventually becoming one of my absolute favorites. Somewhat similarly to "October," the song has somewhat of an industrial sound to it, but it's much softer than "October." In fact, "Ecstasy" is definitely one of the album's softest songs. The song is sang in a very morose fashion and, to me, is from the perspective of someone dealing with the immediate aftermath of separating from an unfaithful partner and the grief and pain that that is causing. The line that says that to me most prominently is my favorite line from the song: "Still, I can't shake her; get out of my mind." O'Riordan once said that the song is about dealing with depression, suicidal thoughts, and drug addiction, but I think that my interpretation is still valid, especially since all of those things can be pretty relevant to grieving the end of a relationship. It is a beautiful song that I have, on more than one occasion, listened to to help me get through a difficult situation or difficult emotions. Although most editions of Are You Listening? end with "Ecstasy," the Japanese edition of the album features three extra tracks - "Letting Go" (which reminds me a lot of The Cranberries' song "Empty"), "Forever," and "Sisterly Love" - and the international iTunes edition features one extra track - "Willow Pattern." Among all of these bonus tracks, "Sisterly Love" and "Willow Pattern" are definitely my favorites. "Sisterly Love" is a piano-driven and almost cabaret-like song that reminds me a bit of Amanda Palmer about a strained relationship that the speaker has with her sister (hence why I interpret "In the Garden" the way that I do), and "Willow Pattern" is an epic anthem heavy in guitars and strings offering sage advice to listeners: "You should never take a thing for granted; you only miss it when it's gone, and it's stupid to be holding grudges because we only got so long."

Are You Listening? is one of my favorite albums of all time and, in my sincerest opinion, most definitely showcases some of Dolores O'Riordan's best work. Since her tragic (although still unexplained) passing on January 15, 2018, many people have been coming forth paying tribute to the late Irish musician, which is beyond touching and memorable, but many of them are doing so by sharing their love for songs such as "Zombie," "Linger," "Ode to My Family," "Dreams," and so forth. While I do not challenge the quality of such songs, nor do I challenge the impact that such songs have had on music (especially "Zombie," a song that I personally love and am very emotionally moved by), I find it somewhat tragic that O'Riordan seems to be remembered by many only for her popular hit songs, whereas many of the more obscure songs go unnoticed and even ignored. Many fans of The Cranberries, for example, hadn't even been aware that she released any solo material. Considering how (at least in my opinion) good that Are You Listening? is, that is truly tragic. I, in fact, came into brief contact with a fan of The Cranberries shortly after O'Riordan's death, and after I told him about Are You Listening? and encouraged him to listen to it, he thanked me for pointing it out to him because of how much that he loved it: "I... never knew it existed until you mentioned it days ago. It's fantastic. I would like to extend to you a firm internet handshake. Made my weekend. Thanks." (I had been hoping that the brief conversation would lead to a new friendship, but my friend request unfortunately went ignored.) I think that gratitude such as that is a testament to how strong and memorable that Are You Listening? is and is definitely a testament to the fact that it showcases the real talent that she has sadly left behind, talent that will likely never be forgotten by those who truly love(d) her music.

Dolores O'Riordan's Ten Best Songs Ever (According to Me)

In the wake of Dolores O'Riordan's death on Monday, January 15, 2018, many people, fellow celebrities and fans alike, have come forth with their fondest memories of listening to her music and with a list of some of their favorite songs of hers. (You can read my own tribute to Dolores here.) Most of them, however, refer to O'Riordan's smash hit singles such as "Linger," "Zombie," "Ode to My Family," etc., and it is my belief that she deserves to be recognized for more than just the songs that most everyone knows. She has more than two decades worth of a catalogue with some incredible songs that are shadowed by her hits, so in honor of the late musician, I decided to make my own list of some of my favorite songs of hers. (This obviously is not all of them, and there are many fantastic songs that unfortunately didn't make this cut, not even with the two bonus honorable mentions, but I wanted to give myself an appropriate limit.) Without further ado, here is my list:

Honorable Mention - The Cranberries - "Daffodil Lament"

Honorable Mention - The Cranberries - "Zombie"

10. The Cranberries - "Never Grow Old"

09. The Cranberries - "Hollywood"

08. The Cranberries - "Conduct"

07. Dolores O'Riordan - "October"

06. The Cranberries - "The Concept"

05. Dolores O'Riordan - "Lunatic"

04. Dolores O'Riordan - "Willow Pattern"

03. Dolores O'Riordan - "Ecstasy"

02. Dolores O'Riordan - "In the Garden"

01. The Cranberries - "Waiting in Walthamstow"

Dolores O'Riordan: Remembering Her Legacy

Death, whether we like to think about it or not, is a part of life. Life cannot exist without death, and death cannot exist without life. People pass away and leave us every single day, and in fact, if Blue Öyster Cult is to be believed, the approximate number of people who die per day on a global scale is 40,000. (That's 14,600,000 per year if, as I said, Blue Öyster Cult is to be believed.) That knowledge does not lessen the pain, however, when either someone that we know and/or love personally or someone who somehow touched our lives leaves this plane, and while I did not know Dolores O'Riordan personally, she definitely touched my life. Born on September 6, 1971, O'Riordan found fame at a very young age in the early 1990s when, as frontwoman of the rock band The Cranberries, songs such as "Linger" and "Zombie" became humongous mainstream successes on a worldwide scale. Since then, she experimented with many different sounds, with The Cranberries dabbling in different genres such as hard rock (sometimes so hard, in fact, that it was borderline metal, with the aforementioned "Zombie" acting as a perfect example), pop, Celtic music, and so forth. Outside of The Cranberries, O'Riordan showcased a darker gothesque sound (a sound that she once said was inspired in part by Evanescence, my favorite band of all time) on her first solo album, Are You Listening?, and even experimented with electronic music as vocalist of the band D.A.R.K. As someone who not only experimented with many different sounds but could also sing, play guitar, play bass guitar, play piano, and so forth, she proved time and again that she was no one-trick-pony, and her music and her words touched the lives of countless fans.

On January 15, 2018, I opened up my news feed on Facebook to discover, much to my shock, that, at only forty-six years of age, O'Riordan had suddenly and unexpectedly passed away while in London for a recording session. As someone whose life was changed by this woman's music when I first became a fan nearly a decade ago (I believe that it was eight years ago to be more precise), I was devastated and could not stop my tears from falling. After the initial emotional shock, I went into a sort of denial, being unable to accept (or more accurately, comprehend) how someone who had seemed healthy and was still relatively young had slipped away so suddenly. O'Riordan, like many of us, did not necessarily live the happiest of lives. Although she remained relatively private about the details of her personal life, we do know that she divorced her husband of twenty years (love songs such as "Apple of My Eye" were written with him in mind) in 2014 and soon after experienced a meltdown on a plane, a meltdown that became so disruptive and violent that she was arrested. She later apologized for her behavior and ended up revealing that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. All of this weighs heavily on my mind as I ponder her death, for as of today, January 18, 2018 (three days later), we still don't know what the cause of death was. While the results of the postmortem obviously will not change the fact that she is unfortunately no longer with us, at least not physically, I feel like this excruciating loss will somehow be even more painful if O'Riordan's mental illness won the war that it had started with her. Also a devastating loss to music and its listeners was the loss of Chester Bennington, frontman of rock band Linkin Park, last summer, made all the more hard to swallow by the fact that he took his own life. While O'Riordan's death is devastating and tragic either way, I remain hopeful that that was not the case here.

What, however, made Dolores O'Riordan so special as a human being and as a musician? As I stated before, people die every single day, and most of those deaths don't get the media coverage or the mass outpouring of grief that David Bowie's or Chester Bennington's deaths did. Does that mean that celebrities and musicians are more important than us, that they are somehow meta-human or godlike as opposed to mere human like the rest of us? Of course not, but the truth is that most of us aren't lucky enough to have the talent and/or opportunity to leave behind a legacy, something that will be remembered for generations upon generations to come, if not forever. Artists who find widespread fame are lucky to an extent because they, in a sense, become immortal, leaving behind pieces of themselves that remain long after they are gone. O'Riordan also left behind a legacy of love. Although she divorced her husband in 2014, O'Riordan was, in fact, partnered with Olé Korestsky as of the date of her death. Koretsky was a fellow musician who was in D.A.R.K. with her, and he recently made a statement on Facebook regarding O'Riordan's death: "My friend, partner, and the love of my life is gone. My heart is broken and it is beyond repair. Dolores is beautiful. Her art is beautiful. Her family is beautiful. The energy she continues to radiate is undeniable. I am lost. I miss her so much. I will continue to stumble around this planet for some time knowing well there's no real place for me here now." This statement, to say the very least, is quite possibly the most heartbreaking statement that I have ever heard/read coming from someone who just lost his partner; it's absolutely heartbreaking, and it shows us the void that her passing has left in its wake. It shows us the intense love that she clearly shared with others during her time here on this plane.

Those listeners who were casual listeners remember O'Riordan primarily for songs such as the aforementioned "Linger" and "Zombie" and possibly songs such as "Dreams," "Ode to My Family," "Just My Imagination," etc., as well. This does unfortunately seem to make up a large portion of those who remember her, as I have seen so many people who are saddened by the news cite such songs as proof of her talent, and many people don't seem to know that O'Riordan was also a solo artist with two solo albums under her belt, nor are they even aware that The Cranberries remained active beyond the '90s. They also do not seem to be aware of her other project, D.A.R.K. While her vocal talent on "Zombie" cannot be disputed (especially since it's the perfect song to turn to when listening for how unique her voice was), O'Riordan wrote and sang music for decades of her life, and most of the more obscure material is just as good as, if not better than, the mainstream singles for which she is remembered. The Cranberries, between 1993 and 2017, recorded and released so many incredible and beautiful songs such as "Put Me Down," "Daffodil Lament," "Never Grow Old," "Waiting in Walthamstow," and so forth.  O'Riordan's solo album, Are You Listening? (released in 2007), is, in my humblest opinion, a masterpiece from start to finish, and it stands as one of my absolute favorite albums of all time. Her second solo album, No Baggage (which was released in 2009), also features memorable gems such as "The Journey" and the hauntingly beautiful piano ballad "Lunatic." Like many musicians, O'Riordan was shadowed by her mainstream hits, while much of her other work was largely ignored by mainstream media. I find that to be a shame, and one of my goals here is to help shed light on why that is.

Dolores O'Riordan was born in Ireland and was an Irish citizen. In fact, "Zombie," which is commonly and honestly shamefully misused as a Halloween song even though it actually has nothing to do with zombies, is about the Warrington bomb attacks of 1993, bombings caused by the Irish Republican Army in Warrington, England. What's more is that even though O'Riordan was Irish and not American, The Cranberries' 2002 song "New New York" was written to commemorate the fallen victims of the 9/11 attacks in 2001. The band's 1999 album Bury the Hatchet features a song called "Fee Fi Fo" (written solely by Dolores) on which Dolores sang of how she couldn't understand what kind of sick and vile impulses drove a person to sexually molest children. This was clearly a woman who cared about the world around her. She didn't write music merely about love and heartbreak like many musicians do but also about people suffering and dying because of senseless war and violence, about children feeling lost and mistreated. O'Riordan was a woman who exhibited empathy for those who, for one reason or another, were not as well off as she might have been, and she chose to share that empathy with the world via her music, her words, and her voice. She also frequently had sage advice to offer listeners, advice that has stuck with me over the last several years. A song probably known only by passionate fans who followed her closely, "Willow Pattern" is a song recorded for but unfortunately ultimately cut from her solo album Are You Listening?, and the song features the following warning in its chorus: "You should never take a thing for granted; you only miss it when it's gone, and it's stupid to be holding grudges because we only got so long." These are wise words if I have ever heard wise words, and they ring especially haunting so soon after her death.

While all of that is undeniably true, however, Dolores O'Riordan's music is music to which I have a personal connection, which is one reason why I have taken the shocking news of her unexpected death as harshly as I have. Flashback to summer of 2010. I was about a year into my relationship with the love of my life, the man whom I was convinced I was going to marry merely weeks into our relationship. I called him my sunshine because he had brought so much light into my life, a life that had seen so much darkness. (I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but it is the truth.) This guy was a dedicated fan of Dolores O'Riordan, and even though I had never really given her or The Cranberries much of a chance prior even though I had obviously heard songs such as "Linger" and "Zombie" (who hasn't?),  I love and have always loved music, so if I feel up to it, I am usually more than willing to listen to an artist and give them a fair chance before deciding whether or not I like them. Because of his love for her and the band, I wanted to try to immerse myself, as well, to see what it was that he might have loved about her. I therefore asked him one summer day when he had been coming over to visit me to bring his hard copies of her two solo albums with him, and he did. Those two albums served as my initial entrée into her music, and mainly because of the first solo album, Are You Listening?, I fell in love. Dark, heavy, and dramatic songs such as "In the Garden," "Stay with Me," and "Black Widow" reminded me so much of my favorite band, Evanescence (and, as I said, I later found out that she cited them as an inspiration). I couldn't believe that I had gone three years not knowing that this album had existed, and I listened to it over and over and over again. I couldn't help it; I was so drawn to and in love with her lush and beautiful music.

I also liked her second solo album, No Baggage (especially the aforementioned song "Lunatic"), but nowhere near as much as I loved Are You Listening?; it didn't get anywhere near as much play as the first one did. It was totally different in style and aesthetics, and even O'Riordan's hairstyle between the two albums was different. On the Are You Listening? album cover, she sported shoulder-length dark hair that reminded me of Lacuna Coil's Cristina Scabbia's usual hairstyle, but on the No Baggage album cover, she wore her hair much shorter and blonde. I, probably needless to say, became a fan very quickly, though, and felt the need to go through The Cranberries' catalogue and listen to their music, as well. I did love "Zombie," especially since it was dark and heavy, not too far removed from material on Are You Listening?, but I also discovered that many of the more obscure songs, such as the ones previously mentioned, were just as precious. (I also discovered that hairstyle changes were frequent for Dolores; she changed her hair up perhaps about as often as some people change their clothes. That and her infectious smile made her physically remarkable and memorable.) I quickly came to associate her music with my relationship with Raymond. (I wasn't going to mention his name, but it only seems right that I do.) This was not only because of the fact that it was because of him that I was a fan but also because love songs such as "Linger," "Apple of My Eye," "The Concept," "It's You," "When You're Gone," and so forth seemed to so perfectly encapsulate my very real and very intense feelings for him. I even made plans to play The Cranberries' song "7 Years" (which has a very strong country influence) to him on our seventh anniversary of being together (which would have been April 13, 2016) and maybe even ask him to slow dance to the song with me.

As some of you can probably surmise and as some of you may even already know, this story unfortunately does not have a happy ending. No, he did not pass away. While I certainly do not wish death on him, that would have perhaps made this story even more romantic and tragic à la Romeo & Juliet, but no, he broke my heart multiple times, lying to me and making promises that he never kept. The third and final time was in early July of 2014, which resulted in a serious suicide attempt on my end because I couldn't imagine my life without him. I loved him and loved his company that much. Not only that, but it was so hard to swallow the fact that Dolores O'Riordan would no longer be a staple of my relationship with a man whom I loved dearly, so in a sense, I attempted to end my life not only because of my love for him but because of my love for Dolores and her music. I will admit that for a very long time (years even) following my unsuccessful suicide attempt and having to live without him, I shunned O'Riordan's music because it was too painful to hear. I cursed under (and sometimes even above) my breath when I walked into a store or restaurant and heard "Linger." I never listened to anything of hers, not even Are You Listening?, and I eventually felt that I needed to come to terms with that, that I had not only lost my soulmate but also Dolores and her music. While I still can't really listen to "Linger" (which has honestly never really been one of my favorites, anyway), healing fortunately happened, and that pain faded in intensity. I therefore eventually realized that I was able to listen to her music without pain because even though he had exposed me to her and even though we did share her music together, she had become just as much mine as she had been his.

This has hopefully shed some light on why Dolores O'Riordan and her music were and are so important to me and why her passing has been so difficult for me. When David Bowie passed away, I, of course, felt and understood the loss to the world of music; he was, after all, a legend. When Chester Bennington died, I shed some tears, not only because of my personal connection to mental illness and to suicide but also because I had been a fan of Linkin Park since approximately 2002, so fifteen years of my life. Linkin Park was ahead of its time and was paving the way for so many rock and metal acts to follow, and that was a devastating loss. This is definitely the first time, however, that the loss of a musician has hit me this hard, which is mainly because this is the first time that the loss of a musician has felt so personal to me. Despite her misleading and misunderstood meltdown on a plane four years ago in 2014, I truly believe Dolores O'Riordan to have been a kind and sweet soul who offered so much to the world surrounding her, and I cannot stress enough how devastating that losing her has been and will continue to be. I think that she was the first to leave us this year in 2018, and this one definitely hurts. I remember once saying quite a while ago that I loved Are You Listening? so much that it would be difficult for her to ever top that, either via a third solo album or another album with The Cranberries (the latter of which, titled Roses, was released in 2012, although it was not quite as good as Are You Listening?), and she now won't even have the opportunity to (although she was recording music with D.A.R.K. prior to her death, and the band has said that they do plan to release said music), which is so sickeningly upsetting and heartbreaking to think about. Fly high, Dolores O'Riordan, and I hope to see you on the other side so that I can personally tell you how much that your music meant and means to me.


I would also like to share my poem titled "46," which I wrote in memoriam:

Capturing hearts with art
Is such a rare talent,
One that only few of us exhibit,
As is the ability to see the world around you
As something exquisitely larger than yourself.
You were a rarity,
Someone who could examine the world
From the perspective of an abused child,
A childless mother,
A casualty of war,
A 9/11 victim,
And not just from the perspective of
A loving mother who wanted the best
For her daughter
Or of a rock star who sometimes loathed
The fame that a song,
A commonly misunderstood song,
Brought her
(Although such perspectives
Were just as valid
And just as important.)
My heart broke on the day
That you faithfully departed,
For your departure came far too soon.
We will miss you when you’re gone,
But fly high, Angel Fire,
And never grow old.

Björk - Utopia [Review]

Following the release of her 2015 album Vulnicura, which devastatingly chronicles her split from longtime partner Matthew Barney, Icelandic electronic musician Björk returns with Utopia. Björk once said that the follow-up to Vulnicura would be the paradise to Vulnicura's hell, so it makes sense that Utopia, which is arguably a synonym for paradise, is the title. Vulnicura's lyrical content deals with the ugly and raw emotion felt because of a broken heart, whereas Utopia's lyrical content deals primarily with healing, finally being whole again, and allowing one's self to experience love again. In some ways, in fact, Utopia functions as a sequel to Vulnicura, with its lead single, "the gate" (which I reviewed here) even alluding to it. Not only does Utopia deal with somewhat new subject matter, it is also different in sound, reminding me a bit of her 2001 album Vespertine. Vulnicura's strings and soft synths are largely replaced on Utopia by woodwinds and sound effects such as birdcalls, reminding us, as her 2011 album Biophilia did, of her intimate relationship with nature. Highlights on Utopia include "Blissing Me," the aforementioned "the gate," "Body Memory," "Losss," and "Claimstaker," with "Claimstaker" potentially even being my top favorite song from the album.

Utopia opens with "Arisen My Senses," an atmospheric song heavy in harp with a strange warbling sound at the beginning. Björk's vocal track throughout certain parts of the song are very loud and prominent, and although somewhat repetitive, the song speaks of allowing herself to open up (both emotionally and physically) to love and sex. The sexual references on the album are another reason why the album reminds me a bit of Vespertine. Although then referring to Matthew Barney, that album, like Utopia (which even features a photo in its booklet of Björk wearing a strap-on dildo), was not afraid of exhibiting sexual themes. (Songs/videos such as "Cocoon" and "Pagan Poetry" serve as prime examples.) The song makes reference to her new feelings being like a mixtape being created, which makes its transition into the second track on Utopia, the aforementioned "Blissing Me," a sensible one. "Blissing Me" is another song driven by harp, although it is a much softer and gentler song than its predecessor. It is lyrically very cute, as it speaks of falling in love with someone over your shared tastes in music (which is why I said before that it is a good follow-up to "Arisen My Senses"). Some fans have likened it to "Headphones," a song from her 1995 album Post, as that song refers to her love for music and its therapeutic power. "Blissing Me" is one of my favorite songs from the album because of its cute and innocent theme and its beautiful melody and harp accompaniment.

The song's third track is its first single, "the gate." I won't say much about this song because as already stated, I have already reviewed it, but I will say that I think that this song also could have worked as Utopia's opening track because its first line begins with "My healed chest wound...," a clear reference both to her experience that inspired Vulnicura and the album itself. (The album cover features Björk with a gaping hole in her chest, and songs on the album refer to her chest wound.) The fourth track on the album is the title track, one of the more unusual songs on the album. The song's accompaniment is composed primarily of flutes and strange birdlike calls, which makes sense because both play a part in the song's lyrics, as the song opens: "Bird species never seen or heard before, the first flute carved from the first fauna..." There are parts of the song which seem to refer to climate change, such as when, near the end of the song, Björk sings, "Huge toxic tumor bulging underneath the ground here. Purify, purify, purify, purify toxicity." I find the song very beautiful, but my only complaint with it is that, perhaps in deliberate juxtaposition with "Arisen My Senses," Björk's vocal track is quieter than the instrumental accompaniment and, at times, is drowned; it is sometimes difficult to comprehend the lyrics.

"Body Memory" is an ambient song reminding me of her 2005 soundtrack album Drawing Restraint 9; Drawing Restraint 9 features a strong Japanese influence, and a similar influence seems to be present here. The song also features sound effects such as birdcalls and catlike growling, and a little more than halfway through, a choir kicks in and steals the song, with Björk wailing dramatically on top. At nearly ten minutes long, it is the longest song on the album, and its lyrical content speaks to her relationship with nature. It is another song that works as a sequel to Vulnicura, however, as it makes several references to the split that inspired Vulnicura. She even brings herself back to how she felt - how the death of her relationship felt like her death overall (a feeling that she highlighted on the Vulnicura track "Notget"). "Do I accept this ending?" she sings here. "Will I accept my death...?" The way that I interpret this song is that it's about healing; she is saying that her love for nature and for the world around her is ultimately what helped her on her journey toward healing: "Then the body memory kicks in, and I trust the unknown. Unfathomable imagination, surrender to future." This, in other words, is a reminder to herself to not fear the future and the unknown but to embrace it (a theme also present on the album's closing track, "Future Forever"), and her reference to her "body memory" reminds me of how she said during the Vulnicura era that the grieving process is a biological one.

The sixth track is titled "Creatures Features," a reversal of the term "creature feature" (or, in other words, monster movie). The song reminds me of her 2004 album Medúlla because a large portion of that album is a cappella, and much of the accompaniment in this song is provided by human chanting. The song also reminds me melodically of her cover of "Like Someone in Love" (found on her 1993 album Debut), which is probably not a coincidence because both songs are love songs and feature somewhat similar themes. Björk seems to once again be addressing her ex-partner Matthew Barney, as she says, "When I spot someone who is same height as you and goes to same record stores [once again accentuating her love for music], I literally think I am five minutes away from love. When I hear someone with same accent as yours, asking directions with the same beard as yours, I literally think I am five minutes away from love." It is my belief that she is, as previously stated, addressing Barney, saying that she, whether consciously or not, looks for traits in new prospects that are similar to his traits. This actually makes perfect sense because she was with Barney for thirteen years, meaning that that relationship is likely now her go-to model. I can completely relate to this because I was with the love of my life for five years, and I usually find myself attracted to people who, in general, have similar characteristics as he did/does. (I am looking at you, Keir Gilchrist. I am convinced that you are his long-lost brother.)

"Courtship" is very similar to the title track, featuring a similar musical accompaniment, similar not only because it is played on woodwinds but also because it is very similar melodically. The term courtship, of course, refers to a period in two people's lives in which romantic and sexual feelings develop, and it can also refer to a marriage proposal. Björk is likely yet again contemplating her ex-lover on this track, especially since some lyrics seem to run parallel to lyrics on Vulnicura. She opens "Courtship" with the following: "...His veins full of lead, he's left with loving what he lost more than what he has." The primary reason why I think that this might be a reference to Matthew Barney is that it reminds me of lyrics on Vulnicura such as these ones from "Black Lake": "I did it for love. I honored my feelings. You betrayed your own heart, corrupted that organ." Yet another line that comes to mind is from "Notget": "Will you not regret having love let go?" The similarity between "Courtship" and Vulnicura songs such as these two lies in the idea that she not only lost something but so did he, that he betrayed not only her but also himself. (This vividly reminds me of a line from a song called "Human Spirit" by Dolores O'Riordan, who coincidentally sadly passed away today: "Don't betray your lover; you will just betray yourself.")

Another highlight on Utopia is "Losss." (I have tried coming up with an answer, but I do not know or understand why the word is misspelled with an extra s.) This song could thematically be a song on Vulnicura, as it deals with almost identical subject matter, except in a bit more of a positive light: "I didn't allow loss... didn't harden from pain. The pain we have will always be there but the sense of full satisfaction too." The song examines loss and its role in our lives as human beings; it does have the potential to harden us and make us hateful, but it also has the potential to make us stronger, more self-sufficient, and more appreciative. "How we make up for it defines who we are," Björk asserts. I love this song and consider it a highlight on Utopia not only because of its positive and empowering message to which I wholeheartedly relate but also because of its beautiful sound, especially because of its haunting harp accompaniment. "Sue Me," although not necessarily one of my favorite songs from the album, is interesting because it takes the album in a new direction, a more electronic one as opposed to the organic one heard throughout most of the album. The song is likely an important one to Björk as it is about her and Barney's daughter and the custody battle that has followed their separation. She tackles the same subject matter that she did on the Vulnicura track "Family," which is that their separation has essentially destroyed not only a partnership but a family.

"Tabula Rasa" (Latin for "blank slate") returns the album to a more organic sound, driven almost entirely by woodwinds. It is potentially the first time that Björk has delved into the reasons why her relationship with Matthew Barney ended. Vulnicura brutally dealt with her feelings on the matter but not really with the reasons. "Tabula Rasa," however, tells us that "we are all swollen from hiding his affairs" and that "he led two lives." This probably tells us that Barney was likely unfaithful in the relationship. She once again refers to her daughter in this song, telling her that "my deepest wish is that you're immersed in grace and dignity... I hoped to give you the least amount of luggage." Here Björk is essentially writing a love letter to her daughter, telling her that she hopes that what her father did and what the consequences of that were haven't negatively impacted her too indelibly, that she can still continue to grow in "grace and dignity." "Oh, how I love you," she reminds her. "Embarrassed to pass this mess over to you." "Tabula Rasa" functions as a reminder of how brutally honest that Björk is through her music. Similarly to how Vulnicura made some of us (myself definitely included) feel, some of the songs on Utopia feel so intensely personal that hearing them and/or reading their lyrics feels like voyeurism. This song, after all, comes across as an extremely personal love letter written to her daughter. The bravery exhibited by baring her soul in such a way is immensely admirable.

Finally moving away from the subject of her separation, Björk takes us almost seamlessly into "Claimstaker" (likely stylized in such a way so as to be read as both "claim staker" and as "claims taker"). Although the lyrics to "Claimstaker" are very brief (only fourteen lines), the song runs at over three minutes long because of how drawn out most of the notes are. As I mentioned before, this is probably my favorite song on the album primarily because of how drawn that I am to its electronic energy and drive. It is carried heavily by swirling synths and, like "Body Memory," touches upon Björk's intimate relationship with nature. The song is then followed up by a short instrumental piece played on woodwinds, a piece called "Paradisia" (which, of course, means paradise, another word for utopia); it's absolutely beautiful and lush and features the birdcalls from "the gate" and "Utopia." "Saint" is somewhat of a low point on the album for me. Another song driven by woodwinds, it stays pretty stagnant without really developing. My opinion regarding this song could always, of course, one day change, as music sometimes takes a while to grow on me, but one aspect of this song that I definitely do love is its closing statement: "Music heals, too. I'm here to defend it." This reminds me of a statement that she made following the release of Vulnicura, about how she hoped that the songs on Vulnicura would act as "a crutch to others." They most certainly did for me; I give Vulnicura, at the very least, half of the credit for my eventually coming to terms with losing my ex. It helped me heal immensely.

Utopia's closing track is "Future Forever," ending the album on an incredibly hopeful and positive note. The song, a very quiet and peaceful song driven by what sounds like the light chimes of an organ (although I could be mistaken), encourages listeners to stop living in the past and to start looking at what the future might have to offer: "Imagine a future, and be in it," she advises. "Feel this incredible nurture; soak it in. Your past is on loop; turn it off. See this possible future, and be in it." The song makes an effective conclusion to Utopia, and I, overall, really love this album. As previously mentioned, it is, once again, intensely personal, and I applaud Björk for such bravery. It is quite clear that music is something that she needs and even feeds on, which creates a mutual core (See what I did there?) for both her and most of her listeners because even though I obviously cannot speak for anyone else, Björk's music is therapeutic for me, having helped me through some of the most difficult periods of my life. I will say, however, that I hope for a return to high energy in the future, as I would love to hear more tracks like "Crying," "There's More to Life than This," "Violently Happy," "Army of Me," "Mutual Core," etc., but I will take Björk in just about any format that she has to offer.